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Stay Close to Your Parents
It is traumatic for any child to be separated from a parent. Even if you live in the same city, it's tough to live with one parent and bond
effectively with the other. You may feel in some way responsible for your parents' divorce. When you're with one parent you may think that you're missing something at the other parents' home. As you get older, scheduled visits often conflict with your own activities, making you feel both guilty and resentful.1. Decide how much time you can share with your absentee parent, then make a commitment. You are busy with college, friends, work and you’re live in parent. What's left over? Plenty, if you do a little planning. Consider a standing Thursday night dinner, a jog through the park followed by breakfast on Saturdays, and a movie once a month. Don't make it a chore, and be flexible about working around conflicting schedules.
2. Avoid getting caught between your divorced parents. You are in a position to know a great deal about the personal lives of your mother and father. Be discreet. Let both parents know that you respect their privacy and have no intention of broadcasting privileged information. Parents learn quickly and as soon as they realize that the news blackout is permanent, everybody becomes more trusting.
3. Be quick to use the phone and don't keep score as to who owes whom a call.
Sometimes the one-sidedness has nothing to do with you.
The absentee parent may just feel uncomfortable about your live-in parent answering the phone.4. Issue verbal or email bulletins about your activities and invite your absentee parent to any special events you may be involved in. He or she misses you very much. It's lonely not being included.
5. Accept guidance from your absentee parent as long as it seems reasonable. Don't flaunt your independence.
6. Show genuine interest in your absentee parents' life. How is Dad's job going? Is he worried about anything? Sincere questions will result in sincere
answers. Let him know that love - not gifts - is what's most important to you.7. Where disagreements arise, be willing to negotiate honestly and make concessions. It takes special skills and practice to resolve issues with a parent who has limited authority over you.
8. Don't feel disloyal to your live-in parent if you like your absentee parents' new spouse or friend. It's okay to love three or four parents. It's a win-win situation!
9. Never be lulled into thinking that your relationship with an absentee parent will take care of itself. It requires effort.
10. Be prepared to give a lot, and you can expect a lot in return.