If you’re the proud parent of a preschooler, you’ve probably had plenty of such experience— that seemingly never-ending session of crying and screaming that your child heaps on you ever so often to have his way. Handling a temper tantrum can be tedious. Here are some simple strategies that work:

Ignore, ignore, and ignore

Tantrums occur primarily because of frustration, anger and the inability to communicate one’s feelings to others. Often it is because the child is bored or tired. But sometimes it could be an attention-seeking or manipulating behavior to have his way. Ignoring it is the best policy.

Be consistent

Ensure that a ‘no’ means ‘no’. Being firm and consistent in your reactions to a tantrum can be the key in preventing tantrums altogether. When parents give in to their child’s demands during a tantrum, over time, the tantrum becomes a learned behavior. But if you don’t give in, the child understands that throwing a tantrum will not change a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’.

Don’t be embarrassed

Resist the temptation to give in to a tantrum when in a public place. Your embarrassment will teach your child that throwing a tantrum outside home will inevitably result in the child having his way thus reinforcing learned behavior.

Have a routine

Fixing a specific time for meals, naps, turning in and play are helpful in keeping tantrums at bay. Having a fixed routine will help you figure what the child could be wanting at that time of the day as soon as the tantrum happens.

Connect with her

Connect with your child

Working moms often blame themselves when their kids misbehave and throw temper tantrums. Making a conscious effort to spend at least 30 to 45 minutes a day, hearing her narrate her experiences and stories can go a long way. During this time, one should not try to correct or restrain the child. This time should be spent playing a game or just talking to the kid.



You’ve been traveling on work for a week. You try to make up for your absence by coming back loaded with gifts for your child. Or you’ve been extra harsh with your little one when he threw a tantrum at breakfast. In the evening, you go overboard buying him toys and chocolates trying to compensate. The best way to satisfy the guilt, if it occurs, is to show love and affection. Gifts, given too often, lose their charm and end up being the cause of tantrums.

Plan and prepare

It helps to inform a child, regardless of age, that you’re taking him out; the kind of environment, people, events and activities to expect. Also telling him how he should behave in such a place and the consequences of misbehaving (such as the waiter asking him to leave the restaurant if he is too noisy) works. The child knows what to expect from the situation and what is expected of him and learns to relate to events like an adult. Informing the child of natural, logical consequences and withholding privileges after a tantrum always works.

Relax

Tantrums get aggravated when a child sees a parent getting stressed. When stress threatens to overwhelm you during a tantrum, try to identify its cause. Lack of rest, recreation and support tend to make parents feel more stressed. Poor parenting skills, lack of planning and disorganized lifestyles are other reasons. Proper planning can reduce crisis situations. If things become overwhelming, parents should seek professional help.

Spare the rod


Whacking your child when he throws a tantrum is not the best thing to do. It will create fear and over time he will be unable to express himself or communicate effectively.

Distract

The best and easiest way to handle your preschooler during a tantrum is to distract his attention to another activity or object. For example, if he throws a tantrum because you aren’t buying him ice cream, try to remind him that when you go home, both of you could bathe his toy duck. Then go into details of water, soap, etc. It works like magic.

Hold her

During a tantrum, calming your child by holding, gentle rocking and making soothing noises, helps.

Reason later

Trying to use logic and reasoning with a child during a tantrum is futile. One can reason or discuss her behavior after the tantrum, when she has gained better control over herself. Appealing to the wisdom of a child does work, even if it is a two-year-old. It helps elevate the child’s status.

Always praise

Never forget to praise

Always appreciate good behavior in your child, especially in the presence of others.

Acknowledge that she is being a good girl by behaving well under the circumstances.

Positive reinforcement and the satisfaction it brings will prevent tantrums.

See a doctor

But if the tantrums occur often, last more than half an hour, isn’t easily controlled, causes stress to the parent and provokes spanking to control it, it’s time to seek expert advice.

Expert speak

Every Child Is Unique

Every child has a unique temperament, a constitutional endowment. Some are easy, some slow to warm up and some difficult. It is the last category that is more prone to tantrums. Children, who are impulsive by nature and have problems with regulation of emotions, get frustrated easily when their needs are thwarted. When a parent’s skills and responses do not match a child’s temperament, a tantrum occurs.

Copyright © 2008 - 2010 bodyhealthbeauty.org. All rights reserved.
Contact | Site Map