Child Manners

A child who has not learned to take a No cannot handle self-regulation in later life, Child mannershe cautions. Want your child to do well in school? Self-discipline is twice as important as intelligence in predicting success in school, he says. How can Karen’s mother and others like her help their children—and themselves—be more effective? By using the N word more often. That will help build muscles of self-control and responsibility in the child. Bear in mind, you are taking the easy way out by buying peace for the moment. It doesn’t work in the long term. Not to confuse loving her child with giving in to his demands. Each has its own place. Keep it that way.

Child mannersKids know how to negotiate. Exactly the buttons they need to press, when and for how long before their parents cave in.

Once this cycle is established, parents spend their lives trying to meet their children’s demands endlessly. What sort of demands? For junk food, the latest mobile, a Play Station, an Xbox, branded clothing… the list goes on.

You may not realize it, but limits have their uses. They give children a huge sense of safety and security. When they hear a No from you, they actually feel confident. Because they know you are strong enough to take a stand and not buckle under pressure.

Child manners

We live in times of instant gratification. A child who knows his limits and has learnt to regulate the impulse for such gratification has a big plus over others. He can make intelligent choices faced with difficult options in later life. You want your child to do that, don’t you?


» Explain the reason for your stand. Are you sure you are convinced? Children can easily make out the uncertainty or guilt in your voice and play on it.

» Make sure you have enough fun and playful times with your children. Stay emotionally connected.

» If your child watches you being self- disciplined with your life then he/she will not resent your Nos.

Child care home Let some limits be negotiable as long as they are done with the Child mannersspirit of reasoning out. Don’t be rigid.

When you say no

» Letting it turn into a power tussle between you two.

» Getting carried away with too many Nos. It’s a great idea to adopt a balanced approach where the limits are clearly defined for the child.

Say no firmly but sweetly

» Using a No as a “put down” or building fear in them.

Remember, it’s a kid’s job to test the boundaries and limits placed on them. And it’s your job to feel empowered enough to say a clear and calm No.

Not because you do not care. But because you do— deeply enough to take the tougher option when necessary. Let me assure you, they will thank you one day for saying no.